You Don't Need to Play Hockey to Need a Hockey Stick

Things to Do With A Hockey Stick Without Playing Hockey

1.      Glue a moose’s head to one end and set the other end on fire to start a cult.

2.      Play baseball. The second baseman can trip an opponent on his way to third base during an error.

3.      Use it to carry flowers to your girlfriend while she has a contagious flu.

4.      Play football and deflect the football in the air if you’re struggling to cover a faster and taller wide receiver.

5.      Collect all the hockey sticks from the worst hockey team in the league and set them on fire in the hockey rink so they can try having a swim team instead. Who knows? Maybe they'll even drown. That could be fun.

6.      Make signs to protest for human rights to act like animals who have no right to pretend to be people.

7.      Teach Simba how to learn from the past. When he goes back to be an LA King instead of a Lion King, throw him off a cliff.

8.      Glue the bottom of the hockey stick to the top of your head to sport the gloriously brave look of the wooden mohawk mullet.

9.      Turn it into ANTIFA and tell them it’s your assault rifle so they don’t come for your real one. Don’t worry. They won’t know the difference.

10.  Use it as a measuring stick to see how much that bump on your disobedient child’s head has grown. Also, use it as a growing stick go see how much that bump on your disobedient child’s head can grow.