Bike Drop!

A bicycle is a motorcycle for Amish men who want to ignore the women that want their attention.

A bicycle is a unicycle for people who are smart but unimpressive.

Roller skates  are bicycles for people who are afraid of heights.

Catapults are bicycles for people who think the floor is lava.

Horses are bicycles with attitude for people who are to good to wear apparel made of highlight markers.

Wheelchairs are bicycles for people who fell off too many bicycles.

A basket is the container cops on bicycles use to transport a suspect when taking the suspect to the police station. A basket case is the person who thought of the idea to put police on bicycles. A casket (not to be confused with basket) is how cops on bicycles go home after trying to chase murderers who drive tanks.

Knees are bloody, skinless spots on a bicyclist’s leg until he or she is old enough to start dating. Elbows are bloody, skinless spots on a bicyclist’s arm that have no reason to start bleeding but here we are and we don’t know why.

Helmets are what bicyclists use to protect their feet by throwing something to the ground after falling off a bike instead of kicking the stupid bicycle.

A bicycle race is a game of ring-around-the rosie on bicycles where only the wheels go in circles and everyone just all falls down… even the spectators.

A good exercise (also known as a good workout) is a desperate excuse to make uncool people feel cool about riding a bicycle in traffic cone-colored pants.

“Hold my beer and watch this” is what bicyclists say right before doing something that they will mention for the rest of their lives or be forced to hear everyone else mention for the rest of their lives.

Dead bugs are black spots on a bicyclist’s face that are often mistaken for black freckles.

A Grand Canyon of a Crater  is a crack in the road about as wide as a well-sharpened number two pencil that bicyclists want people to believe is at least a big pothole.